Skaking · Hips · And · Busting · Lips

Unstop the day, you’ll rise again
Don’t let the newsman signal the end
‘cause you can trust your farthest friends
Across the world, we’ll take the car
You’re in the room but your heads in the stars
Now, you can run but can’t hide who you are

He couldn’t stay, Thanksgiving’s gone
His lonely children continue his song
But he was young, did nothing wrong
I tried to say ‘I miss you tonight’
And they claim you’ve already died
But the truth is that we’re lost in time
We’re lost in time

These haunted dreams are brushed aside
We’ll meet again, another life
I tried to say ‘I miss you tonight’
And they claim you’ve already died
But the truth is that we’re lost in time
We’re losing time…

Happy New Years To All! Hope All Went Went Well With Everyone. I Ended Up Going To Bed At Like 10 Or So. Not Feeling To Well And Had A Hangover From Hell It Seemed Like.

I Went Out With Kyle On Friday Night. We Went To Louisville Pizza And Then Went To This Bar. I Had Such A Great Time, I Swear It Seems Like It Has Been Forever. I Don't Miss It Enough To Do It Every Weekend Like I Used To. I Got Way Too Drunk, The Last Thing I Remember Is Being Chased By Chris In His Underwear And Falling On The Floor At Brians Brothers House. I Remember Waking Up The Next Morning Thanking God I Was Okay... Who Knows What I Would Have Gotten Into?

This Weekend I Did A Lot OF Thinking. Not Really Sure As To Why I Did As Much Thinking But I Prob Needed To Clear My Head. Kinda Depressed To Be Honest, And It Prob Didn't Help That I Didn't Take My Meds For Like 5 Days Either. I Honestly Was A Totally Diffrent Person This Weekend, And I Hated It. I Am Sure Some Of You Did To, When You Talked To Me, If I Even Picked Up My Phone To Talk To You.

Happy New Year!!!

Kari

Wow This Year Seem To Go By So Quick Huh? I Think This Year Was More Of A Reality Check For Me. To Be Honest,I Needed It More Than Ever. I Closed That Chapter In My Life With Jeff, Started Back In School, Met The Love Of My Life, Became More Social, Rekindeld My Relationship With My Mom And Step Dad, Spent More Time With My Family, Learned Not To Take Things For Granted, Got A New Job That I Love Coming To Everyday, And Well I Could Go On.....

My Christmas Was Actually Awesome This Year. I Think I Got Everything I Needed And Then Some. The Problem With Me Is That I Don't Ask For Anything. I Honestly Just Don't Know Of Anything That I Need That Anyone Could Give Me As A Gift. Dad Gave Me $$$ For School And Clothes And Some Other Things. Mom Gave Me Money, Tons Of Clothes, And Some Other Little Things. Kristen Gave Me Money, And Joey Gave Me Some Gifts That I Intend To Put On My Desk Here At Work. And To Top Things Off, Brian Got Me A Coach Bag!!! For Those Of You Who Have Seen It, He Did A Good Job Of Picking It Out For Me Huh? To Those Of You Who Haven't Seen It Yet, It Will Come Around Sooner Or Later. You Will See My Butt Up Bardstown Strutting It Or See Me Out And About. You Will Know It's Me......

Things Are Going Pretty Well Between Brian And I For The Most Part. I Don't Think That We See Each Other Like We Both Would Like To, And I Think That Casues Us To Get All Grumpy During The Week. I Mean When We Are Together We Get Along Great, God Do We. I Can't Tell You How Much I Look Foward To The Weekends Every Week. We'll Be Okay Though, It's Just Me Beig Selfish More ThatI Need To Be...

So What Is Everyone Doing For New Years?

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!
Kari

My Couisn Kylee Died On Sunday. She Was Attacked Her Pit Bull. It's Been On The News All Week Long It Seems Like. I Wanted To Thank All Of You For Your Support, Calls, And Even Coming For Her Servies. It Meant A Lot.

As Many Of You Know,I Have Had Two Other Couisns Die Within The Last Five Years. This Makes Three. My Gran Is Convinced That We Are Cursed. I Look At It That God Had Better Plans For Our Baby Girl. She Meant The World To Us All. She Was Prob The Happiest Baby I Have Ever Seen In My Life. She Was Loved Like No Other. Both Derrick And Jessica Loved Her Like She Was Heaven Sent, And She Truely Was.

Nikki Gave Her Grave Plot Up For Kylee To Be Burried Next To My Couisn Sean Who Passed Away 5 Years Ago. I Think That Has Been The Hardest For My Family, To Have To Go And Now Have To Go Pay Tribute To Three Lives In The Same Cemetary.....

I Love My Family Like No Other, They Mean Everything To Me. It Hurts Me So Much To See Once Again My Familg Go Through A Death. But, My Family Is Strong, And We Will Get Through This Once Again.

Kylee...I'll See You Again When The Time Comes. My Seany Boy Will Take Care Of Ya..... God Has More In Store For You. You Touched All Of Our Lives While You Were Here Kylee.I Love You, And You Will Be Dearly Missed Baby Girl.

Brian Has Been Here For Me Through All Of This. I Thank God That He Has Done That. God Only Knows What I Would Have Done, Or How I Would Have Been Without Him Today... Thank You Baby, I Love You.

I Also Want To Say "Thanks" To Chris For Having Those Late Night Talks To Me About All Of This. It Helped Me So Much. It Feels Good To Know I Have You There When I Am At My Worst....

Life Is Getting Better, Well At Least A Day At A Time... And I Finally Found Someone Who Loves And Cares About Me Like No Other.

I Never Said I Deserved The Best. I Just Deserved Someone Who Really Truely Wanted Me, And Only Me. I Cannot Tell You Of How Tierd I Have Grown To Being With Guys Who Treat Me Like I Am Nothing. All I Ever Asked For Was Love, Not Sexual, But For Someone To Hold Me In Their Arms And Tell Me How Much They Care About Me, And Want To Be With Me. Someone Who Treats Me Like Gold From The Get Go, And Not When They Realise That I Am Leaving Them. I Just Wanted To Be Loved... I Never Asked For Much, But Yet No One Could Honestly Give That To Me.

As For The Guy I Am Dating, I Could Not Ask For A Better Boyfriend. He Has Been There For Me, Through Thick And Thin, No Questions Asked. This Person Sees Me For Who I Really Am, And Even My Flaws. And Stills Loves Me. This Guy Tells Me How Beautiful I Am On A Daily Basis, And I Could't Even Get That From Others. This Guy Opens The Door For Me, Ask Me How My Day Was. How Many Of You Can Say You Have Done That? This Guy Makes Me Smile No Matter What! And When Things Aren't So Great, He Makes Them Right.I Could Go On, But I Am Sure You Have Heard Enough....

To Those Of You With Whom I Have Ended Friendships With Don't Blame Him. He Just Made Me Realise That Most Of You Weren't Worth The Tears. I Don't Undterstand Of How Some Of You Can Treat Me The Way You Do, After Everything I Have Done For Each And Every One Of You. I Have Been A Good Friend To All Of You, No Matter What.... I Just Can't Deal With The Drama Anymore.

As For Jeff, You Know Why Things Are The Way They Are. We Both Made Bad Choices, But You Made Choices That I Can Never Forget, Nor Forgive You For.Yeah, There Is Prob Part Of Me That Shouldn't Be Pissed Off About Those Things, But I have To Live With Your Poor Choices For The Rest Of My Life, And That I Cannot Forgive You For That. In Due Time You Will Find Someone That Truely Makes You Happy, Someone That Can Handle Your Problems, Your Flaws. I Tried, And Tired, And I Just Can't Do It.

To Mike Black, I Am Not Sure If You Will Ever Read This, But I Know Why You Never Came To Dinner That Night. Not One Bit Am I Mad, Because I Realise That It Was All A Big Fucking Mistake. You See Where I Am With It Now? I Would Really Like To Have You As A Friend In My life. You Have Always Been A Good Friend To Me, And I Would like To Rekindle That Friendship If It Can Be Savaged..... Call Me Sometime If You Feel Up To Talking.

To Sara, I Am No Longer Mad At You. Just Hurt Overall. I Still Cannot Believe You Did What You Did Without Even Thinking About My Feelings. I Still Love You, And You My Best Friend, Just Promise Me You Won't Ever Do It Again Please?

To Brian, You Mean The Fucking World To Me. Where Would I Be Without You Here To Guide, Love, And Support Me Through All This . I Love And Care About You So Much. We Are Going To Make This Work. Take My Hand, We'll Make It, I Promise.These Last Few Months Hav Been Hell, But You Have Made Them Worth While. I Cannot Thank You Enough, I Love You A Little More Everyday....

Alas, I Am Going To See Bright Eyes. Anyone Care To Go With Me?

I've Been Playing Poker With Brian And Friends Here Lately, And I Am Actually Pretty Well. I ad A Good Fucking Coach Though, Thanks Sweets!

Psssss..... Someone Has A Crush On Me. Care To Know Who?

Off To Bed, Love You Guys
xkarix

Well Turns Out shawn fucked with Jeffs Car all along like we assumed. A good friend of both mine and shawns came into work lastnight and flat out told me that the mother fucker did it. I swear I wish people would get over themselves and reaslize that Jeff and I are together..... Fuckin Btiches!

I went to the gym with lisa and valerie last night. While walking out of the gym Valerie(who happens to be gay), yells damn you do have a nice ass kari. I was like "oh gosh". She was like it's all round and firm and looks well with your thick hips.... Haha, made my night. Afterwords we went to Jerrys and I ordered me a lot of shit to help this ass stay nice and big!! Awesome.

Once again, I haver to confess my love for Jeff. I honestly do love you more than life itself. And I mean that baby. This is going to work out, we're destined I am convinced. We just have a lot of shit going on it both of our lives right now. Remeber sometimes you can't make it on your own... I need you more than ever.....I Love You Hoodster!

So working 3 shift kinda sucks ass like whoa. I am not really used to the whole going to bed at 10 am and getting up a 6 going to the gym then going back to work.... kinda suks if you ask me. But, gotta make that money. I could always do what Jeff wants me to do, and become a drug dealer/stripper. Need to work on the boobs though....right?

xkarix

Testing The Strong Ones

There's an angel by your hospital bed
Desperate to hear his name on your breath
As he looks down you're not making a sound
Open your eyes look at me
I'll bring to you whatever you need
And I'll tell you I'm sorry
That I can't take this pain away from you
And I'd put it on my own body if I knew how to
Can't you see?
I've gotta bust you outta here somehow
I've never seen your heart this tired
I've never seen your spirit held down
I know that you say
This is what you get
For being a bad child
But I know this would be your reward
For just a little while
For just a little while
Its testing the strong ones
Scaring the beautiful ones
It's holding the loved ones
One last time
Its testing the strong ones
(testing the strong ones)
Its scarring the beautiful ones
(staring the beautiful ones)
Its holding the loved ones
One last time
Its testing the strong ones
(testing the strong ones)
Its scarring the beautiful ones
(staring the beautiful ones)
Its holding the loved ones
One last time
Testing the strong ones
(testing the strong ones)
Scarring the beautiful ones
(scarring the beautiful ones)
Its holding the loved ones
One last time

Well Nashville was pretty fun. Jeff and I didn't do much, but it was good to get away from louisville for a bit. Bad part .... we had to come back to hell... Hey Jeff, I am about to .(Banging on wall)..... (falls off bed). Haha, I swear that was one in a million.

I am trying to find a new job. If anyone knows anywhere that is hiring at the moment, other than Mcdonalds let me know. It would help me out quite a bit!!!! Although Jeff and I are going to a few places downtown tomorrow to fill out applications, including starbucks which is hiring... Kinda excited about Starbucks, I think I would enjoy working there.Jeff and I would fit right in...

I bought Jeff and I a fish tank for the house. It looks pretty awesome. We have four fish so far, 2 orange fish kahooker and kahoodster, and two black and white spotted fish named moo moo and Regan. I plan on buying more when I have the extra $$$$$........

I have been in a rather wierd mood here lately. I think a lot of things are just starting to get the best of me. I mean don't get me wrong there are things in life that make me happy... getting back together with jeff, and getting a new credit card. But those two really don't mix.... We all know why...haha.

There are are quite a few of you with whom I have spoke to here in the last few weeks, and haven't had the best things to say to those of you. I am not going to say I am sorry, even though that is what most of you all were looking for me to say. I said those things out of truth. Some of you walk all over me like I am a fucking doormat and I am past the point of even caring anymore. There are some of you who put me second best to others, when I have been there all along for you. Well second best, just casued some of you all to lose my friendship. Think I am selfish? More like selfless...... And then there are those of you with whom I feel to an extent take me for granted. You just don't see that yet, but believe me I do, and it is starting to bother me.

I am starting to sell shit on e bay and it happens to be some awesome stuff. You guys know I am trendy.. so expect some cool items to be up for auction. I am going to put my sony vaio computer up for auction sometime tonight... I will also have a sony 15 inch LCD monitor for sale as well.... I will be putting up a hell of a lot of Cds , and some shoes clothes, jewlery , purses etc. If you woant the link post on here, and I will post it to all....If you actually thinknig of wanting to but the computer, feel free to call me 502-432-2278. I am going to be selling the monitor for 250.00+, which was bought for 678.00. As for the computer, I am going to sell for 400.00 (+/-)and that was bought for 1500.00 or so. Both are good deals, and are in good condition.

Well I am outta here, going to go bug Jeff for a bit....Check out the song I wrote below, you might like.....
xkarix

inhale

the air is poison
as the media films we smile
with a plastic life
and act like everything is glamour
living a made for tv movie
as the credits role we sing

life and death will you be there
breathing in the air

for a horror made man
lurking as a stalker
up to my knees in life
is this your son?
i found him singing

helping and killing will you be there
breathing the air

you are my suicidal murder
i need you like i need myself
exhale and your hooked
down on the ground gasping for me
you try and sing

i breathed the air

Ah, my stomach hurts soooo bad. I think it's that steak and shake Amanda and I ate lastnight. It was good, but not healty...

I miss Lisa like whoa? Where the hell did you go baby?haha!!!!

And well my best friend has hurt my feelings alot lately. I don't know if you know this bucko but it seems like you have no time for me? Makes me sad like no other?

I think I am going to go to old navy tomorrow. Anyone else wanna go with me? call me and let me know. I am sure one of you guys want to go with me....haha.

xkarix

Heh, I am really getting annoyed with this dumb bitch posting shit in my journal.Trust me, Jeff and I both know it's you. It won't be log till we catch your dumbass and whoa your ass is grass. Sad, I don't even know who the fuck you are and yet you find way to my journal. What I should do is go post in your journal, but well I am a little bit more mature than you. Imagine that huh? Oh well I guess.....

I went to Brandees gradutaion party today. It was good to be around some of my family, keyword some! My mom kept bugging the shit out of me about Jeff. Keeps asking me when we are going to move in together, I just tell her I am not sure. In which is true. One of my ex's made an appearance (due to the fact he is best buds with brandees bro Chris), he kept getting on my nerves, okay somewhat. I swear this guy is hot as Hell , but he isnt b/f materal believe me. Him and I dated like 2/12 years ago, and got back together on and off after Jeff and I broke up last summer. Things were okay I suppose, I mean we had fun together but as I said before he isn't b/f materal. On top of that, he has a kid with his ex. And I am not one to want a relationship with anyone who has kids, well except for Jeff (haha).

xKarix

Man I am busting my ass at the gym. My body hurts like hell. Heh, it will be worth it in the end. More sex with my Hoodster.... haha!!!!

I got contact lenses this week, blue one to be exact. Jeff and I went and each got glasses. He picked out this awesome pair for me, and well they look pretty good on me. Thanks baby!!!!!!

So like 20 black guys have approached me at the gym to tell me I have a sexy body. I am like what the fuck? Me, sexy body? haha.. Nah, I just have curves and a black girls ass. Lucky me, I get chased by black guys. That reminds me.... Jeff and I were coming from Garys wedding and stopped by Thortons for gas I suppose. Well there were two black guys walking in, and Jeff and I passed them, and one of the guys look back and say "DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNN". We just laughed... Guess you just had to be there.I take pride in my hot ass!!! Too bad it's kinda taken haha!!!!!

Chubss might go with me to the gym soon. Could be fun!!!!!!

BTW, Brittany I got some penis today.... Kari 3 Brittany 0

xkarix

Wierd... I thought I would let you guys know that I think I found whom it was that was e mailing me and leaving me messages on here. People are such dumbasses. It is a shame what Jelously over Jeff having feelings for me will do to some girls. I think it is sad to be honest, and I would appreciate it if this person(and you know who you are) would stop posting on here, and writing me e-mails, which are filled with bullshit. Nice try, but well I this we both know the truth. So seriously quit with the he hates you bullshit. Feel dumb now? You should dumbass...........

Well things are okay so far..... so far that is.Heh, how long you guys give it till I fuck this up once up again? Ah, Why am I so fucking hard on myself about him?Only time will tell I suppose.

Jeff I want you to know I love you more and more everyday I am with you. I mean that with all my heart. I am not sure where the road will lead us this time, but I do know things are much diffrent now, we both know this. I can't tell you how thankful I am that you are back in my life. Wierd how things seem to work out in the end?

To those of you whom have decided to end friendships over this situation, all I can say is you knew this was coming. But as they say "It Is Better To Have Been Loved, Than To Have Never Been Loved At All". Take it for what it is.....

I got a membership to Golds Gym finally. Jeff kinda got my ass in the door about it. I also have been tanning as well. I am gonig to be a fucking hot ass Bi*ch in no time, wait I already am. haha!!!!!!Anyone got a membership?

xkarix

Just found out Matt got me tickets to a Weezer show in Chicago for my birthday. You rock Matt!!!!!

I think I fucked up for sure. Most of you know how much I have changed over the last year or so, and you all know that I have worked very hard to be where I am. Well lets just say, someone very important saw the old side of me come out the other night. I don't know what came over me. I have been doing so well these last few months, and it's like what the fuck? I don't know. I just hope that this person, can let that night pass...

I have decided not to go to Notre Dame this fall. I plan on telling my parents sometime this week, and to be honest I am kind of scared to tell them. My dad is going to quit paying for my school,after I tell him, and that means I have to start paying for it, which meanss I go into debt great! And well my mom will just say that I am ruining the rest of my life,and I don't look foward to that.I plan on taking th fall semester off, and going to either U of L, Bellermine, or IUS. Not really sure though......

To that someone... I am sorry about the way I reacted the other night. This is oh so new to me, but also past. I promise to try my best to work on my old habits. Have faith in me........I love you!!!!

Tomorrow is going to suck. I have to go to 2 masses, and then go to family dinner, and then to Al anon meeting. I am going to be soo busy, but yet tierd. Wierd how that works, huh? Oh well, it's best I do all of the above.

Haha, Rahuls new band seven played a show last thursday night.Wnder if they sounded anything like seven ten split? Oh wait, his new band is called seven. Heh.. okay? I still love ya Rahul!!!!!

Well I am off to bed, or at least to lay down, I am not feeling that well at the moment.
xkarix

"Back And To The Left" - Texas Is The Reason

This town was built on miles of hope
and I dare you to give one reason to stay
and maybe I won´t go away.
So far you only dared me once
and I think we know that´s not even close enough.
Not enough for me to stay.
It costs so much I know.
But I guess I need to know what it would have felt like to be right.
But I´m getting tired all over again so hurry up
and get here because I´m still waiting...
just like I´ve always been.
I´m getting tired of standing around,
just sitting here and waiting to be found.
Same old shit just a different day.
I´ll wait around for one more day
but I know that´s what I will always say.
Will this ever be O.K.?
I will always worry about you.
I will always stick up for you.

Sara and I decided to go out to dinner. I was nice enough to treat her, but well she deserved it, she is helping me out with love!!!!! HAHA. Everything was fine and dandy, until I notived my Ex Nicks mom and brother eating dinner. I whispered to Sara who it was, and was rather shocked. I never thought I would run into her. Sara said she kept giving me dirty looks, and I am sure she did. I say get over it Lady. hahaha!!!

Afterwords Sara and I did some snooping, I mean shopping(haha), and went down to the river. We had a pretty good time. IT was so pretty, I mean, of course it would be we were both there. We just sat at the edge of the dock , and basically talked about everything. It helps me that Sara knows the situaion right now with me, God I dont know what I would do without her. Guess you got three more weeks or so, and then party time with the hoodster huh, Sara? You can be our driver.... Haha. I love you chick!!! Btw Sara, Indie won't bite, her momma taught her better. She only bites mean daddys named Jeff!!!!

I have a lot of doubts going through my mind right now, but I prob have more worries. Someone with whom I care deeply for has a problen, not going to get into it though. I really want to help this person, in my heart I feel they need it most. I wish I could be there , but I cant and that kills me......

Altogether this week has been wierd. I just hope for the best I suppose. I had a really nice time Sunday Night by the way. Thanks!!!!!! This week can only get wierder I suppose.heh... I am excited.

Well I am off to bed.... call me you bitches! 502-432-2278

xkarix

Sara is sick right now. I think I might go see her and make her some chicken noodle soup. Maybe she will feel better if I do that. I need her to get better though, so we can do some snooping again. Man we are bad Sara....

Thunder over louisville is next weekend. It sukcs though, my dad wants me to go out of town with him. Not exactly sure what I am going to do. Anyone wanna join me for Thunder? Let me know. I plan on going early.....

Mike and I were suppose to go out on Saturday night, and supposed something came up. I haven't talked to him since, but I think something is up. Not sure though. Mike you should call me soon...

I am sick again, will explain later. Dont want to get anyone worked up about it.I will keep you posted I promise. Btw, I dont think I am going to die, well at least I hope I don't.

I miss Teddy like whoa. He needs to bring his punk ass up here for Derby. Too bad, he has to work. I am going to force him to come up when I move though, he could be a big help, well his gunshow could be a help actually.

Anyone going to see The Killers? I am going to go, and I am kinda excited. I think that show is going to be awesome. Teddys trendy ass got me into them, heh go figure. Talk about trend setter..

I have to be at work at 8am. That is like in 3 hours. I have yet to sleep, well except for a 2 hour nap. Oh well, I plan on going to grans after work, diiner with Travis, and then I am going to lock myslef up in the house, take the phone off the hook, and get some sleep. Man, I am going to be tierd.

Anyone have myspace? If so add me to your buddy list.... my email is xlonelydeepelmgirlx@yahoo.com!!! Add me you bitches.... I need a crew, and that means you too!

xkarix

Hmm.... I went to check my e- mail at work this morning and noticed that someone posted the following:

why would jeff ever go back out with you.. you almost go him locked up now .. jeff is mine now me and him have been seeing eachother off and on and your put of the picture you little whore..... he showed me you sad ass fucking post on here cause one of your freind told him about it and he told me he thinks you are pathetic and told me he hated you you skank whore so why dont you just go die in a car wreak you sewer river whore who lives in a trashy trailer living off dads money i hope your whole familie dies in a car accident... period..

Of course this person was lame, and didn't leave a name. Heh.. I think that whomever that is might want to kep their mouth shut from here on out. If you can't reveal yourself, leave my journal alone.Btw, I'll find out who you are, it left your Ip address dumbass. I don't feel like hearing your bullshit.Sad you have to talk shit about others to feel better about yourself. You can't back up what you say.....

I am suppse to be hanging out with Mike tonight. Not really sure what we are going to do, but should be good times!!!!!!!!!

xkarix

I hear what you guys tell one another about the whole Jeff situation. I think that you should just keep your comments to yourself. I know you guys only want me happy, and for most of you the last time you saw me happy, was with Jeff. I am going to take this situation one day at a time. You will know in the end what happends, I promise.

Sad that U of L lost tonight. I wish they would have won. Better luck next year Cards!!!!!

The pope died today, sad but well thats a part of life. Means i have to sit through long ass mass tomorrow, no biggie though.....

Sara came over to my house today to see my new puppy. He is so cute and small. Then her and I went snooping after someone, and went to some tanning place to handle some business. Along the way, the Backstreet Boys came on, but it was a new song. How about that? I have to admit I was digging the song......

xkarix

Today has been rather long. I went to get my dads new dog, went shopping, went to see Kyle at the hosptial, and eneded up going down to Higland Tattoo to look at tats and prices.I plan on getting one here in the next month or so......

Teddy is going camping with his brother this weekend, and I am kinda worried. He has had a lot on his mind lately, and I know he is stressed out. He has not been himself lately, and that kills me. I love that boy so much, you guys have no clue. Teedy I hope by the time you see this your head is cleared, and you feel better about everything. Just remember I love you .......

As most of you already know Dapper passed away last weekend. I was so sad. Any of you who personlly know me, know that was like my kid. Ah, dad took it pretty hard too. I got him a new weiner dog. We named it slick.... heh.

I think I might head out Bardstown Sunday after mass and take some pictures. Anyone wanna join me call the cell......

xKarix